So now I'm publicly working on this idea...

Wrestling with this point of even being here. Publicly. And I feel a little silly, to be honest. I've never been the bravest person, or the most open person or the person to think that much of what i say is what anybody really wants to hear, or read anyway. eh. but no matter. It's 2 am and I got court tomorrow. I should be sleep. i should be doing anything besides writing right now. But it's 12 days before my birthday/solstice and my heart is heavy/sore and my mind can't even rest cuz all my dreams are crazy.

my birthday wishes are:

to be held by someone that will listen to my heartbeat

to be seen

to curl up on a good friend's lap and cry for a while

to dance

to be heard and loved

to understand the gifts of my shadows

to be free!

to feel joy

to eat good food and drink good wine

to chant

to make love/deep/passionate/love deep as Olokun

to sleep a peaceful sleep

to see my children happy.
to be intimately and infinitely understood
compassion
a deeper root into life/being