I fucking hate destiny and shooting stars

Write the story that you were always afraid to tell. I swear to you that there is magic in it, and if you show yourself naked for me, I’ll be naked for you. It will be our covenant.

I am so scared of what I want the most. I swear to god looking in her eyes makes me stop breathing for a second. And I'm like, did she just see me, I mean like really see me?

I was having a discussion with a friend

about how much i've been fucked

how much i've fucked

and how little I have made love

been made love to

and how i want that so bad

that when she looks at me, i feel this sun rise

in the back of my throat

and my womb jumps,

not butterflies, womb-somersaults

and its just sweetness, her face is sweetness

her mouth, honey

and i ask myself if she just saw me,

and i don't know

it's just my imagination probably

but some part of me feels like its gonna die

i mean wither away and blow like dust in the wind

if nobody ever looks deeply at me

and is like i see you

this is so human of me,

so fucking human

and i don't like being human

i want to be a superhuman

but i want her to look at me with them eyes just like that

smile curved just like that

hands feeling the contours of my body just like that

mouth kissing mine just like that

and i don't know what to do

because she can't

she knows better

says what she should do is 

put her hands in her pocket and walk

away, 

i fucking hate precarious situations

always feel like i'm dangling on a spider's web

over a cliff

and why i always got to be the one

to be so damn complicated?

will any of this shit ever get easier?

just kiss me. 

Jesus,

Jesus,

Jesus.